So I decided to NOT skip these chapel sessions. Whether or not this decision was based on Hagee's "big deal-ness" or on the fact that we were all blackmailed to go (if we skipped it would count as a class AND a chapel absence) is irrelevant.
First Impressions:
- He sounded a hint like Sean Connery without the accent
- I wondered where I could get other art pieces from the illustrator of his large Revelations Chart
- When the lights blew out, I thought Hagee was tricking us into thinking the Apocalypse had begun
- SAGU's camera crew is better than his camera crew.
- Why are my classmates on the overhead screens?
This fifth first impression really shook me to my core. (I haven’t been doing my core strengthening exercises lately.) We never have shots of the audience on the big screens, with the exception of behind shots of people dancing in the aisles during worship. But this wasn't worship time; this was Hagee time.
But there they were, two men unashamedly walking around the room with a camera getting all up in everyone’s grill. Didn’t they know they were being incredibly distracting? It was very hard to pay attention to Hagee as well as keep an eye on those mysterious men. And a message about the apocalypse is not something you want to zone in and out of or you’ll hear things like, “The church of Laodicea is going to send fire horses on the 1/3 frogs still living on the lakes asteroids and John and the pregnant woman will pour bowls on witnesses.”
Anyway, at first I giggled at seeing my peers holding their breath and trying to pretend that the camera was not uncomfortably positioned two inches from their face. And I had decided that if the cameras came near me I was going to look directly into the lens.
Then I was informed: This session was being broadcasted on television to the entire nation!
You see, audience footage is very important in videos that will be viewed in the present or future (or past, if you own a time machine). People watching at home are just itching to know what the real life audience looks like; these are the shots that really date videos. It’s the hair-do's, fashion, and glasses frames, they really give away the decade the video was shot. With those shots of the students at our school, people at home will be able to think that the sessions were filmed in the 60's, we love our teased bouffants here at SAGU.
As I watched the camera crew coming down the aisles towards me, I realized that this was my chance. My chance to be on national television, get seen by a big time agent who watches religious television, and become famous.
So I quickly assumed "natural intrigued audience member" position.
- Stuffed my ipod and phone into my backpack, threw it on the ground.
- Grabbed my friend's Bible, put it on my lap.
- Pulled out a piece of paper and a pen, scribbled: "I <3 Hagee!" at the top.
- Sat at the edge of my seat
- Put on a soft smile
- Took off my glasses
- Made my eyes gleam
- Then every time Hagee said something witty I giggled and looked side to side
You'd think that I was the exact audience model that the camera crew was looking for. But no, they stopped filming two aisles in front of me then went to the other side of the auditorium. And they never came back.
So I scratched out my "I <3 Hagee!" scribble.
No comments:
Post a Comment